I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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