I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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