..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
