Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
