Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
