oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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