make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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