You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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