thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
