it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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