idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
