He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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