I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
