Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
