You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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