absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
