I bet he comes in French.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
