Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
