it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He felt like a one man threesome
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
