Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
