Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
