Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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