Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
