3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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