Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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