the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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