He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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