that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
