You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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