He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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