:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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