nutella sex= disaster
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
