i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
