Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
