My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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