You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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