I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
