i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
