so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
