"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
