Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think my tv is drunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
