your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize