my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do herpes really smell.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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