Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize