Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
