And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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