TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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