two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
