we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
