just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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